ALMOST AN ADULT

Today, Anu turned 17. To me it seems like yesterday when Sunil took me in his Bajaj Super scooter to Dr Parvati Javli’s Queen Hospital. My water bag had broken and I needed to go in for a Cesarean, though I didn’t know it as I rode pillion on the scooter. At 8:40 p.m. as the signature tune of the Doordarshan news (Satellite TV was still not so pervasive then), blared, Anu made her debut in the world. And as every parent knows, our lives were changed forever.

I like to believe that God knew that I was already overworked and stressed, so he gave me a trouble-free daughter! There I was managing a home and a job, learning to cook (sometimes with disastrous results), trying to be a good wife (and not succeeding always)… and Anu somehow seemed to understand it all. She rarely cried, was an obedient child and never demanded what she felt we could not give her. Ranjana always reminds me about the time we went to Big Kids Kemp. Money was in short supply and before we entered the store, I explained to Anu that stuff here was very expensive and we couldn’t afford it. Any child would have gone crazy in the store. But Anu would pick up things, look at the price tag and quietly place it back. I guess that’s one of the reasons I like to overindulge her now.

I remember her first day in Kinderfun – the playschool she attended for two years (1992-1994). Dressed in a lovely red dotted dress, she walked in happily. I had prepared her well and every day when I asked her what she did in the playschool, she would reply “Mazaa Kiye!”

I remember carting her around everywhere, office, client meetings, freelance jobs…all I needed to do was carry lots of paper and a pen and she would be busy scribbling away without disturbing me. In fact Anu was with me on my first day at O&M Direct! She knew almost all my colleagues and I think assimilated a lot of the advertising culture. She still likes the “advertising crowd”. She had even drawn up a list of reasons why children whose parents are in advertising are better off. One reason was they grow up to be “very independent”.

My friends bemoan the fact that she never had a “childhood”. She was such a responsible child right from the beginning. She had her own house key ages ago, would let herself in, feed herself, study and of course watch TV! With both Sunil and me working crazy hours Anu learnt to be independent very early on. Many, many times when both of us were working late and came home, we would see her sitting in front of the TV with a torch, a candle and a matchbox – well prepared in case electricity failed!

Her independent streak was evident in the first standard itself. It was the very first day at school and Sunil and I were late in picking her up. Anu had started walking home and had managed to cover quite a long distance… from St Francis Xavier in Coles Park to Nandidurg Road!

I see a lot of myself in her, though she is very much her own person. She’s a bit of a rebel (without a cause, I like to say). Like me, she loves to take up for the underdog. But I believe she needs to choose her battles more wisely. She sometimes fights for people who don’t need to be defended. She is compassionate. She is truthful. She is extremely honest. She has never cheated in her exams. She never hides stuff (or at least I hope so!!!) She has strong values and very strong opinions.

I am proud of the person she has become though there are a couple of things I would like to change about her, starting with her laziness. (Yes, yes, I know where she gets that from!!) I’d like her to be a little more adaptable to situations in life because not all days are the same. I’d like her to value people more and things less. I’d like her to be more focused. I’d like her to have more drive and ambition. I know she can achieve whatever she wants to… only if she applies her mind to it. I have seen it happen once - when she was transferred to another section in the 7th or 8th, she was miserable. All her friends were in one section and there she was in the middle of a gang she had fought with. She pleaded with me to go speak to the Principal. I did but to no avail. However, Anu refused to give up. She went and spoke to her teachers and got herself shifted back to her old section!

There are many, many friends who have helped bring Anu up. I owe a great deal to all of them. The friends who took turns to be with me at the hospital when she was born. Amjad Chachu and Zarina Bhabi who took care of her when she was in the Play School. Shiva who was always just a call away – who would pick her up from school when I got late. As would David. Sujatha who was – and continues to be – her surrogate mother. Ranjana and Kamala who are her godmothers and have always wished her well. The teachers, especially Miss Bernie, Miss Monica and Miss Shifa who recognized her potential and helped her grow, her friends who love and care for her…. So many, many people that Anu and we are blessed to have in our life.

Happy Birthday Anu!