ALMOST AN ADULT

Today, Anu turned 17. To me it seems like yesterday when Sunil took me in his Bajaj Super scooter to Dr Parvati Javli’s Queen Hospital. My water bag had broken and I needed to go in for a Cesarean, though I didn’t know it as I rode pillion on the scooter. At 8:40 p.m. as the signature tune of the Doordarshan news (Satellite TV was still not so pervasive then), blared, Anu made her debut in the world. And as every parent knows, our lives were changed forever.

I like to believe that God knew that I was already overworked and stressed, so he gave me a trouble-free daughter! There I was managing a home and a job, learning to cook (sometimes with disastrous results), trying to be a good wife (and not succeeding always)… and Anu somehow seemed to understand it all. She rarely cried, was an obedient child and never demanded what she felt we could not give her. Ranjana always reminds me about the time we went to Big Kids Kemp. Money was in short supply and before we entered the store, I explained to Anu that stuff here was very expensive and we couldn’t afford it. Any child would have gone crazy in the store. But Anu would pick up things, look at the price tag and quietly place it back. I guess that’s one of the reasons I like to overindulge her now.

I remember her first day in Kinderfun – the playschool she attended for two years (1992-1994). Dressed in a lovely red dotted dress, she walked in happily. I had prepared her well and every day when I asked her what she did in the playschool, she would reply “Mazaa Kiye!”

I remember carting her around everywhere, office, client meetings, freelance jobs…all I needed to do was carry lots of paper and a pen and she would be busy scribbling away without disturbing me. In fact Anu was with me on my first day at O&M Direct! She knew almost all my colleagues and I think assimilated a lot of the advertising culture. She still likes the “advertising crowd”. She had even drawn up a list of reasons why children whose parents are in advertising are better off. One reason was they grow up to be “very independent”.

My friends bemoan the fact that she never had a “childhood”. She was such a responsible child right from the beginning. She had her own house key ages ago, would let herself in, feed herself, study and of course watch TV! With both Sunil and me working crazy hours Anu learnt to be independent very early on. Many, many times when both of us were working late and came home, we would see her sitting in front of the TV with a torch, a candle and a matchbox – well prepared in case electricity failed!

Her independent streak was evident in the first standard itself. It was the very first day at school and Sunil and I were late in picking her up. Anu had started walking home and had managed to cover quite a long distance… from St Francis Xavier in Coles Park to Nandidurg Road!

I see a lot of myself in her, though she is very much her own person. She’s a bit of a rebel (without a cause, I like to say). Like me, she loves to take up for the underdog. But I believe she needs to choose her battles more wisely. She sometimes fights for people who don’t need to be defended. She is compassionate. She is truthful. She is extremely honest. She has never cheated in her exams. She never hides stuff (or at least I hope so!!!) She has strong values and very strong opinions.

I am proud of the person she has become though there are a couple of things I would like to change about her, starting with her laziness. (Yes, yes, I know where she gets that from!!) I’d like her to be a little more adaptable to situations in life because not all days are the same. I’d like her to value people more and things less. I’d like her to be more focused. I’d like her to have more drive and ambition. I know she can achieve whatever she wants to… only if she applies her mind to it. I have seen it happen once - when she was transferred to another section in the 7th or 8th, she was miserable. All her friends were in one section and there she was in the middle of a gang she had fought with. She pleaded with me to go speak to the Principal. I did but to no avail. However, Anu refused to give up. She went and spoke to her teachers and got herself shifted back to her old section!

There are many, many friends who have helped bring Anu up. I owe a great deal to all of them. The friends who took turns to be with me at the hospital when she was born. Amjad Chachu and Zarina Bhabi who took care of her when she was in the Play School. Shiva who was always just a call away – who would pick her up from school when I got late. As would David. Sujatha who was – and continues to be – her surrogate mother. Ranjana and Kamala who are her godmothers and have always wished her well. The teachers, especially Miss Bernie, Miss Monica and Miss Shifa who recognized her potential and helped her grow, her friends who love and care for her…. So many, many people that Anu and we are blessed to have in our life.

Happy Birthday Anu!

MY BEST FRIEND

Last night I had a marathon conversation with my ‘bestest’ friend – almost 2 hours I think. It was as if she reached across thousands of miles and gave me a warm hug. I went to bed with a smile on my lips and a prayer of gratitude in my heart – for having her in my life. I woke up feeling rejuvenated – it was even better than a pampering session at the beauty parlour!

I have known Ranjana almost all my life. We were classmates – studied together till the tenth in a lovely old school in sleepy Bellary. But we really got close only in the 9th. Before that we had some silly fight and were not on talking terms for a long time. But in the idiotic fashion of school girls we would make blank calls to each other! In the 9th when we were both Vice Captains of our respective Houses, we decided to bury the hatchet and became good friends. It’s a friendship that I treasure to this day. There was never a dull moment in school with Ranjana around. She was a great mimic and had names for almost all the teachers. I remember when we had to a page of writing for each Hindi class. The first few lines would be faithfully copied from the Hindi Text Book, then after that the lines morphed into the lyrics of popular Hindi songs!!! And Miss Shamu (Shyamala) never noticed! There are so many fun and mischevious memories of Ranjana in school.

Despite going to different Colleges and choosing different streams we kept in touch. I remember the eagerness with which I waited for Ranjana’s letters while I was studying in Madras. I even penned a poem on it… Holidays meant spending long, lazy days in each other’s houses. I remember the mutton curry her mom used to make and Ranjana loved the kichdi-kheema made at home. Sometimes there would be months when we wouldn’t have spoken to each other, but could just pick up the threads of conversation as if we were in touch all the time… I guess that’s because we are always so close mentally and emotionally.

We shared the same dreams, the same ideas, the same beliefs and the same values. And many, many times the situations in our life seemed to overlap. My situation mirroring what was going on in her life or vice versa.

Like me she wanted to do Journalism but Life had other plans for her. She went on to do her MBA from Dharwar University. We embarked on our careers more or less at the same time. And I have watched with great pride as she has grown from success to success. She is the example I hold up for my daughter and many other youngsters. She is a true role model – having achieved so much, and all on her own steam.

Ranjana is my daughter’s godmother. My alter-ego. And my soul mate. She is one of the very few who is privy to my darkest secrets, my innermost feelings, my every dream. I am grateful that God brought her into my life. And I pray that our friendship will grow richer with each passing year. Amen!